What do you when you start thinking about your ex

[eedeebird]

My husband and I split a couple of months back and I am still having the hard days where I miss him but I dont want to get back together with him. And I was wanting to know what are some of the things you do to pick yourselves up??

[gilravadry]

Ah, that's entirely dependent on who your ex is, and what the circumstances of the brake-up were. In my case, when I think of my ex-girlfriend, I know that she's better off in her life without me, and I'm better off in my life without her, and that bring me to a sense of 'rightness' about the whole ordeal. It also helps that I don't particularly miss her, though I still do remenicse about the good times...

-Ryan

-Stay safe, carry ALWAYS, and when the need is greatest, a 1911 is faster than 911.

[gaime]

.Well, I've never had a girlfriend before, though I have girls that said we were dating, yet after a while we acted like we were ex's. I think it was better that nothing happened with them, because then I don't have to put up with what their boyfriends now are putting up with.

[metalnerd]

I found talking to my friends helps a lot. There was a stage in my life when I didn't want anyone close to me, and when I had trouble with an ex it was hell getting through it. In fact, a couple weeks ago I had a really bad relapse, and later on when I found out some new overwhelming information I broke down pretty bad. But I called my friend and she talked me through it. What would have taken me days to get through in the past, this time only took a couple hours and a pack of camels. That and blasting metal until my ears bleed. So talking with someone who cares is really helpful.

In the past I had other ways, like music that kept my emotion but let me let it out. Writing poetry and short stories. Roleplaying games where you actually roleplay and playing it in a happier way that let me deal with things.

Just have to find what works for you, even if it's just a good cry on a close friend's shoulder.

[dusk626]

`Hm .. Myself, I read or play a video game. Doing something that FORCES you to focus on it will quickly move your thoughts to it instead of another person. Of course, when you're done and your mind can wander again ..

Just pick something you love doing and do it much more often.

[phyr3ph0x]

`My G/F of nearly 4 years broke up with me a few weeks ago, so it still REALLY hurts when I think about her. We shared a flat together, so I've managed to keep my mind off her some by finding a new place to live and packing, but when it get's too much, I've found that a bottle of vodka, a pack of smokes and a damn good cry help. Not very masculine to admit that, I know, but it's true and it does really help.

[daemion22 (deleted)]

`I just try to forget about it..... it stilll hurts way to much to want to think about, sort of the reason I'm trying to move on.

Phyr I know how you feel my g/f (of four years) wanted to go on a break with me for a couple months but after awhile I asked her if we were going to even get back together and she didn't know...so I told her I'm not waiting. It sucks hard

[gregoire]

`Just remind yourself of the reasons you AREN'T with that person anymore. If they're mostly on your end, use them as motivation to either improve if it's something that can be improved on, or a reminder of how petty he/she was. If they're on his/her end, then just make sure you don't get involved in a long term relationship with anyone with those same characteristics.

[drstrange88]

`i miss my ex, she dumped me because i was at a stage in my life where i wasn't even trying to pick myself up and live life i'm still that way but everyday i try harder to not make these same mistakes and hope my next isn't an ex.

[beep]

`I suppose this an extremely late response but for those who still refer to this thread in need of help:

The best thing to do is get rid of everything (if possible) of things that remind you of that person, letters, pictures, gifts, etc etc, put it all in a box and get rid of it OR (as my friend told me).. keep the box but DO NOT look in it until you are completely over the person. The other thing to do is remember that you need to spend time for yourself! If that person and you aren't together they don't deserve to be in your mind waddling. Treat yourself to something nice, meditate, spend time with friends, just keep yourself busy! I hope that helps.. a little? (:

[stanthexdman (deleted)]

`Sometimes there isn't anything you can do to get that other person out of your head... You just have to give it some time and focus on yourself... your hobbies, the things you enjoy, reading. Drugs or alcohol binges aren't the answer either, and sure as hell can lead to other problems.

A job where you can really focus on physical labor helps too, or any old job where you really have to focus yourself and quit thinking about how miserable you feel - remember, it's only temporary!

[phredly (deleted)]

`My wife passed away in 2008. When the pain was still fresh, I really missed her, and thought of her as perfect, and angel, a saint, etc. A few months later, I started to realize that she wasn't perfect. Soon, I accepted that it would be easy to find someone who was better than her in many ways.

[shadow00100]

when i think about my ex and all the times we had, i listen to some uplifting motivation music like , for example the rocky theme, odd as it may sound or eye of the tiger. but thats just for me, everyone deals with their pain in their own way. i hope you get through this, chin up , k?

[rogueelf (deleted)]

`I scream into a pillow, put my black framed glasses back on, take a deep breath, and tell myself I'll find a guy that's right for me and attracted to girls.

(My ex became my ex cause he realized he was gay. -_- My self confidence took a pretty big hit with that, but we're still friends, which makes it hard to be honest. On the upside, he's pretty happy finally being open about it.)

[mathgod496 (deleted)]

`I indulge in my hobbies and make a conscious effort to avoid depression. Getting baked helps but I understand that many people are still enslaved to the stigma that marijuana is a drug. I can get a date relatively easily so going out a few times with different women reaffirms my assessment that the problem is my ex and not me. Don't take back an ex unless major changes are done at the personality level. The vast majority of my relationships failed because my then-girlfriend had an uncompromising compulsion to be a whore. I am cool with being poly and engaging in ----- multiple person combinations. For whatever reason never explained to me, she would always seek other men at my exclusion. Sometimes the girlfriend does not even break up with me but waits for me to find out that she is cheating and she is shamelessly happy about it.