Quezya's tips for getting better results on here

[quezya (deleted)]

I reach out and talk to both males and females on the site. Being social and starting conversations with random people creates all sorts of fun.... but if your wondering why your profile isn't getting the attention you think it should have the following is advice I've given to Nerd Passions member's and I've seen people go from having no hits to being the most popular list with me and beating me.

PROFILE PICTURE #0.5: NO AVATARS. People don't want to see that on a dating site. It tells us either your hiding or your too lazy to load pictures.

PROFILE PICTURE #1: Post a photo of YOU first off. DO NOT post a photo with you with someone else... this is confusing especially when someone has only posted pictures of them in groups.

PROFILE PICTURE #2 MEN: STOP POSTING "NAKED" PHOTOS. A Picture of you shirtless screams look at my body and not my personality. Is that what you want a chick to see and think of first? Especially since most of you Nerds AREN'T IN SHAPE! YOUR PALE! YOUR PROBABLY NOT WORKING WITH MUCH IN THE ATTRACTIVENESS DEPARTMENT SO DON'T START WITH IT. WOMEN ARE GOING TO SAY YUCK OR EWW and not bother to read your profile.

PROFILE PICTURE #2 WOMEN: STOP POSTING PICTURES WHERE YOUR NAKED OR IN YOUR UNDERWEAR. Part of being a nerd means your probably not a whore, your probably smart and fun SO WHY ARE YOU LEADING WITH YOUR b--bs AND NOT YOUR BRAINS! Your attracting men for the wrong reasons... and if your doing that on here your probably doing it in real life.


PROFILE PICTURE #3: Choose a head shot preferably one where your looking at the camera. Eye contact in a picture is the same as in real life.

PROFILE #1 POST PHOTOGRAPHS!: Seriously this isn't hard post pictures of your face. You should have pictures of your face from the front, a side view, pictures of you being nerdy and pictures of your pets if you have any. People typically look at your pictures before reading your description. If your photos are lame or non-existent a lot of people are going to move on or prejudge.

PROFILE #2 YOUR DESCRIPTION: WRITE A F*CKING DISCRPTION!!! Don't write hey I'll fill this out later or um I'm not sure what to write. Picture the SEXIEST possible MATCH for you and consider what you would want them to know in order to hold their attention. It ONLY TAKES 5-10 MINUTES to create a fantastic description. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE OR YOU DON'T HAVE A GOOD ONE, I decide that your lame or too lazy to bother.

PROFILE #3 YOUR PREFERENCES FOR YOUR MATCH: FILL THIS OUT! YOUR STUPID IF YOU DON'T..... you want to know why? Because people are going to stumble over your page randomly and if they can't get an idea of what you like in a match why should they bother lingering on your page. If someone likes natural redheads I want to know cause I am not one. It helps us filter and determine if we should message you. Again your lazy if you don't do this... the WHOLE point of this site is the idea of dating and you can't get a date without an idea of your type.

***** NOTE I REFUSE TO TALK TO MEN IF THIS ISN'T FILLED OUT*****

OTHER TIPS: Click on random people. Talk to both men and women. I tell females on here how beautiful they are though I am straight... Pass on positive energy....... Show us your awesomeness

OH AND DON'T BE NEGATIVE! UNDER CUTTING YOURSELF AND SHOWING A LACK OF CONFIDENCE IS UNATTRACTIVE!!! NO ONE WANTS SOMEONE DEPRESSING... A WET BLANKET IS NOT HOT SO GET A GRIP ON YOUR LAMENESS AND SHOW THE WORLD YOUR STABLE AND HAPPY. PEOPLE CAN JUDGE YOU SO HARSHLY DON'T CUT YOURSELF DOWN AND SIGN YOUR OWN MASTERS DEGREE FOR THE HURTING YOUR CHANCES AND MAKING YOURSELF SINGLE FOREVER!

QUEZYA feel free to message me but remember that I get a lot of emails and might not get back to you thanks to the limit of only 10 emails a day. If you follow my advice correctly I bet you'll even beat me for the NUMBER 1 most popular girl on NERD PASSIONS. BEST OF LUCK EVERYONE its a great confidence builder and ego boost especially if you need it.

[alikakadri (deleted)]

I agree on the nudity/underwear issue.

Posting nude pics

a. may expose kids who pretend to be adults to adult images (granted they should not be on here, BUT it's very difficult to know and prevent!)

b. gives off the msg that you aren't serious about a long-term relationship and are on here JUST to have S-- with as many people as you can... no one will respect you once they got what they wanted from you

c. if nudity isn't allowed on cams in the chat rooms... why are they allowed in profile pics?!? D: Something doesn't seem right about this...


yeah I hate the avatars too, they cannot be customized enough to look like we do... posting a pic of a Mii would be more accurate than the avatars... plus you can't even pick an avatar that would represent you, like a tiger or a book...

those who post no pictures are, yeah, either lazy or computer illiterate or hiding for many reasons... yeah I do understand that some people look good and are being harassed by others who don't bother reading the profile, they just see a pretty face and don't care who you are... um... NO THANKS!!! As a human being I want to be treated as a human, NOT objectified as a S-- doll... TALK to us. It's not that hard to pretend you're talking to a good buddy or your mom until you click the send button... O_o

the pictures of 2 or more people... with a handle such as "spynerd" says nothing about your gender... if you're a couple looking for a 3-some or another couple... then either specify it on your profile or in your username... please!!!!

And if you're single, posting a pic of you and your ex is a turn off!!! Or makes us think you're not ex's just lying about being single!!! OMG... ARE YOU?!? D:

you can go to a professional for good pix or BETTER YET!!! go to a student of photography!!! they NEED subjects for their port-folio and most of them will do it for FREE (magic word right there!!!)... find a college and ask to talk to the photography teacher and offer them to be a model for students who need one for their photos!!!! simple as that!!! If you really don't know how to upload pics on the website...HEY!!! college kids!!! they can explain it to you, show u, or even do it for you two birds with one stone!!!

If you think you would scare the living daylights out of ppl by how you look, they can even photoshop it for you, or take a shaded or fuzzed-over picture so it's you but not so scary. They are photo students... HEY, most of them can capture the beauty in even the most damaged person! BTW, every wrinkle, every scar, is part of your life experience and has a story behind it. People need to wake up and realize that beauty is in everyone. Those scars and wrinkles weed out shallow people... fewer of them leaves plenty of room for the great person who will finally accept you for who you are and BTW that is the people worth hooking up with! In any case, anyone worth your time would stop seeing the outer appearance after a while and just see the personality behind it.

Quezya, i disagree on filling out their profile if they don't want to or want to do it later. it's a RED FLAG on who to avoid!!! lazy, procrastinators are defined byt his and some of us who would prefer to avoid them, CAN... so let's leave the profiles blank or "i'll fill this out later"!!!

Guys, we're not all gold diggers and some of you are real nice, BUT... you're living in your mom's basement @ 30-some years of age with dreams of this and that... well... we don't want to marry a child... we want someone who faces reality and takes it by it's proverbial horns and tames life. Nerds are smart enough that they CAN have a job... as proven by so many nerds who now have billion dollar companies or whatnot... Nintendo is full of nerds who make video games, test them and then there are nerds who work at stores to sell us those games...
We really want a guy who can support himself, even if we work too.

and yes, confidence, even faked confidence is attractive!

you know, even though I doubt he ever read that I'm on here just for friends... one guy was in the chat the other day, IM-ed me just to tell me he thought I was beautiful. That took guts, but it was incredibly sweet and made my day


I've said this before... READ our profile before IM-ing us... YEAH...
READ IT! so we're attractive... um... you're wasting ur time and ours if you smoke and we don't date smokers... or if you hate animals and we love them and have 10 pets
READ IT! It's there for a reason!!!

um... and don't talk about yourself like you suffer from Narcissism syndrome... if you ARE narcissistic... well then get off passions and date yourself lol
don't go for the most popular people on here lol, they are getting all the attention they can handle and the rest of the people on passions need some love too

[dnarealtv]

`what if i am just not full of words like you seem to be? just sayin, i'm sure you'd prejudge me just because i don't feel a need to write a biography about myself. Talk is cheap. I've been getting misjudged my whole life regardless of my approach. Haters gonna hate. I think a few well-selected words is good enough.
As for nudes and all that crap we are in agreement. and again, agreed that more detail is better. hard to find Ms right without specifying.

[alikakadri (deleted)]

dnarealtv wrote: `what if i am just not full of words like you seem to be? just sayin, i'm sure you'd prejudge me just because i don't feel a need to write a biography about myself. Talk is cheap. I've been getting misjudged my whole life regardless of my approach. Haters gonna hate. I think a few well-selected words is good enough.



I can understand that and yes, you bring a very valid point.

I'll be the first to admit I'm more "full of words" online than in RL, but again, there are ways to tell if the person is being lazy, procrastinating or just can't find a lot of words to put on there (this is Nerd passions, I'm sure you can all figure the logic behind whatever's written in the little "introduce yourself" box).

I do agree that it's pre-judging, and I also agree that might get girls to miss a good guy, but again, if the aboves are the image you're projecting and those are the types of guys we're trying to avoid, well... then you have to change how you present yourself because we can't read minds, but we can decide from what is on your profile. It's not hating, it's just knowing what we're after/what we want.

And yes, all it takes are a few well-chosen words, not an auto-biography, not a novel's worth of info. Just a handful of words, made into a sentence or not. It says something about you no matter what you write or don't write.

[cody495]

`Or you could be like me where you cant find anything to say on the comp. but in real life it comes so naturaly...kinda weird b\c most people dont have a problem talking on a comp.

[quezya (deleted)]

`Well Cody you can figure it out that if your going to message someone on the popular list you better believe they're getting a lot of emails and if yours and I QUOTE YOU CODY "Hey what up" isn't going to do anything but make you sound sad and then your profile has nothing on it... Well then I tell you its lame... AND I DID tell you it was lame. So if you can't think of anything to write then get one of your friends to write something for you or a compilation of their thoughts. IF you can't or won't do that then try your MOM, or your coworkers, even your bartender, IF theres someone that sees you enough to have some impression then ask them... ...."WHAT IS YOUR IMPRESSION OF ME?" Why do you make excuses you don't create a conversation or even a relationship on nothing write something!

[blackflames (deleted)]

`Usually, I'm not the kind of person who replies to this kind of post but after having read it, I can't help but wonder...

Am I the only one who thinks it's kinda weird that this thread suggests honesty and getting your pics
(which you and probably 'only you' consider bad for whichever reason there may be) shopped at the same time?

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with fixing the lightning or stuff like that.
Nothing wrong with covering up some makeup fails either.
But, do you really think that the person who's making that retouching request would stop there?
Someone who's making such a request is probably not the most confident person to begin with, so 'a lil bit more won't hurt', right?

While I'm not in College or anything like that (not living in the US, sadly. :/), I've worked in the field (retouching) for some time and
the ONE request I got the most was something along the lines of 'make me/her pretty'.

This may be okay for Media/Commercial stuff, but if I were to find out that someone I'm talking to looks completely
different IRL, that would be a simple, instant ignore/ban/whateveryouwanttocallit.

I for myself value good looks.
Everyone does, we're made that way.
Fortunately, what makes that good look is different for everyone.
But really, the ONE thing you can't argue about is honesty/loyality.

Sure, you don't have to be perfectly honest, but getting your stuff shopped is one of the fastest, if not THE fastest way to loose
someones trust/interest altogether.
Same goes for crappy edits like 'all-blurry' or those wonderful filters, since they create about the same 'he/she wants to hide something'-feeling.

Of course, this only applies to full blown facial/figure edits, but it's really not that hard to go all out, if you know about the possibilities.

So that's that.
One more thing though:

Why would you recommend having your messages written by someone else?
Sure, you're trying to help but please, put yourself in that situation for a moment.
You're getting an email/IM/whatever from someone, who sounds nice and interesting.
Surely, you'll write back, right?
Now, what will happen if that friend/mom/whatever decides it's time to stop writing for someone else or simply doesn't have time right now?
You'll notice the change, however small it may be and you'll probably feel like talking to a different person.
This would basically create the same feeling I was talking about above.
You don't like being lied to.
It may sound harsh but it's just that. A lie.
A false impression, created just to keep you interested.
And whatever nice things the person may have had in mind, this WILL create some kind of barrier.



That's all.
These are just my 2 cents, so feel free to ignore them, if you want.
Also, please don't get the wrong idea, it's quite nice you're trying to help.
Just think of some of the consequences, if things go wrong, because, as you said, people will judge.

[kraynos (deleted)]

`Then again there's always the issue that this website is filled with Americans, not that there's anything wrong with that, but it would be nice to meet someone from the UK. I put a search out, for people on here in my district, and found 3 people. Two of those three didn't even have display pictures or any kind of description on their profiles!

Your politics may suck, but you certainly have a lot more in the way of culture and intellect guys. Fancy shipping over some surplus nerds? We could use them :D

[alikakadri (deleted)]

blackflames wrote: `Am I the only one who thinks it's kinda weird that this thread suggests honesty and getting your pics
(which you and probably 'only you' consider bad for whichever reason there may be) shopped at the same time?



I re-read Quezya's post and my own and saw nothing suggesting modifying the pictures in any way other than not posing naked, not showing underwear and basically only to make the pic one of your face, from the front, from the side, pet pics... I saw nothing about photoshopping or modifying the pics in any way.

I do agree some people are insecure, but you look the way you do, and even people with acne have days where it's not as bad. I'm sure you can find a picture angle that you'll like at some point in any case.

and just mentioning. my pics are not photoshopped and i'm not wearing makeup, never do. Not even in RL.


I also agree with you that honesty is a must. In any relationship, if you start by lying, the relationship is automatically going to fail, thus wasting time, effort, and breaking hearts all around. Lies have no place in a relationship... even if you think it's for the benefit of your partner or the benefit of the relationship. If you have to lie about it, you probably shouldn't have done it in the first place and you're too ashamed to admit you did it or afraid of the result. Guess what? That comes back to you shouldn't have done it.


blackflames wrote: `Why would you recommend having your messages written by someone else?

The recommendation wasn't to have the person type everything, just a short description on the profile, and only because some people don't know how to describe themselves. The rest is the person who created said profile's responsibility. No one said you have to lie either. You can have them mention that you're not good at self-describing so you asked your best friend, or family member to do it. That's honest enough and more appealing than someone who either posts nothing or posts that they'll post later and never post anything.

If you have to let someone type for you for every little message, then you shouldn't be on here... do your dating/ social networking somewhere in RL where you don't need to type.

kraynos wrote: `Then again there's always the issue that this website is filled with Americans, not that there's anything wrong with that, but it would be nice to meet someone from the UK. I put a search out, for people on here in my district, and found 3 people. Two of those three didn't even have display pictures or any kind of description on their profiles!


sounds like you should be advertising the site in your area or moving here
^_^

[kraynos (deleted)]

`Oh believe me, I've considered moving to America. People seem to value intellect over your side of the pond much more than they do in our country.

Plus you'd be surprised how far a stern British accent can get you, I have no idea why xD

[alikakadri (deleted)]

`the intellectual value must be pretty bad in your area then I have to say that outsiders' view of a place is often skewed, no offense here to either side of the border, just my opinion.

um... British accents are the same as an irish or aussie accent... it's exotic B)

[arsenicqueen (deleted)]

`This whole thread is quite interesting. quezya and alikakadri (I hope I spelled your names right, lol) brought a lot of good points.


blackflames wrote: I for myself value good looks.
Everyone does, we're made that way.


I can't agree with that. While I value efforts someone puts to look their best when they go out for a date (and I won't date someone who refuses to at least try!), looks don't weight much in my scale, and no matter how great a guy looks, if he doesn't have the minimum brains and character traits I'm looking for, he'll slip down the line of my respect and eventually lose my interest too.

I do agree with you on honesty though. I wouldn't like to be lied to.

blackflames wrote: Just think of some of the consequences, if things go wrong, because, as you said, people will judge.


People do judge indeed. I sooo hate that; I try to avoid judging others, and have little tolerance to getting judged, but it's kind of unavoidable. Sometimes even your friends will judge you, in an attempt to help... especially male friends who know nothing of female intuition and cannot see what we can foresee. Like red flags the size of a pool table. Sometimes people just can't understand certain things.


lol, kraynos

BTW, you all sound very full of words and knowledgeable, please don't judge my lack of english vocabulary too hashly, I'm a little frenchie.

Edit: Quetzya, I do think your tips are smart and useful, but after review of your profile, it's clear to me that it's not just a question of profile structure if you're so popular... Boys will be boys... :/

[alikakadri (deleted)]

arsenicqueen wrote: `This whole thread is quite interesting. quezya and alikakadri (I hope I spelled your names right, lol) brought a lot of good points.


yes, you spelled it right

arsenicqueen wrote: While I value efforts someone puts to look their best when they go out for a date (and I won't date someone who refuses to at least try!), looks don't weight much in my scale, and no matter how great a guy looks, if he doesn't have the minimum brains and character traits I'm looking for, he'll slip down the line of my respect and eventually lose my interest too.


I'm the same!

At some point, no matter how hot anyone is at first look, there's a long list of things that make them slide down. Like a game of snake and ladders, if I may use it as an analogy; you may have to make an effort to climb the list if you're not catching interest right away, but a lot of guys who look great at first glance can slide right down the chutes when you see what they're really like. Some guys who look too attractive become the biggest jerks or become full of themselves, thus not being so attractive after all.



One more tip guys...

the first 5 minutes of a conversation can make or break first contact. This is true online and in real life.

I try not to judge until first contact, at the very least, but there are things that just won't get your foot in the door.
I got emails from guys claiming they just wanted friendship, gave no detail about themselves, had only girls on their friend list and opened their mouth to say "How are u doing pretty ? I am looking for friendship. "
What is wrong with this picture? This was the entire msg btw.

1. "hello pretty" does not spell "looking for friends", it opens a whole other can of worms... way other than "looking for friendship"... I wasn't aware that friendship standards meant you went for looks as opposed to personality, but, you know... I'm not a guy so I really wouldn't know...

2. friendship, last I checked, requires *some* level of getting to know someone (so do relationships). Offer info on yourself that isn't on your profile. Did you msg me because we have something in common? It'd be a sad sort of friendship if we have nothing to talk about because you like football, which I can't stand but I like horses and you could care less :/

3. yes, boys will be boys... they tend to go for looks first... and that, in itself, is judging. It's judging all other women... based on looks no less :/
What's good for the gander's also good for the goose guys. The rare flower is the one that survives the storm to bloom, not the fragile thing that looked pretty when things were calm but blew away at the first sign that things started getting tough.

I've stood in the shadow of prettier girls, prettier women. It does hurt when a guy who claims to like you can't stop ogling at someone else. It hurts when guys pass you by to go for the pretty but shallow girl who's surrounded by guys while you're standing there being ignored. It doesn't matter that you're a guy or a girl, the same behavior from anyone who might be a potential friend, or more, is hurtful. So I could say I'm sure it's painful to some degree if the girl you like ignores you for the hot guy, or however the gender mixes may go (trying to include all possibilities here... in a clumsy sort of way).

That said, we are what we are and I doubt a few words online will change any of it

but the few who'll take the time to think about it make it worth having typed it.

[arsenicqueen (deleted)]

[deleted]