We still wanna be friends.

[nerdpower13]

My wife and I are going through a divorce. But it's not like the divorces in movies and stuff where things are being thrown and there is lots of screaming and everyone wants to ---- everyone else over. No we're going about it as two reasonable adults who still want to be friends with each other and harbor no ill feelings. the only problem is every time I see her it hurts. I still love her and I know this is what is best for both of us. It's better than staying together then having all of this happen again 10 years down the road when we've come to hate each other and there are kids added into the mix.

But another part of me just wants to know why. Why couldn't we just be happy? Why does it have to be over? Why? Why? Why? The reasonable part of my mind is right. I know it is. But I can't make this other part stop even though I keep telling it that us being together would have been a disaster. It still hurts so much.

Join the Dark Side. We have cookies!
That is not dead which can eternal lie and with strange eons even Death may die.

[piscespool]

`Darlin, I've never been married myself, but I've lost someone and tried to be "friends". I know exactly where you're coming from--just because things didn't work out doesn't mean you didn't want them to (obviously, since you got married.)

The problem is, you can't make yourself stop hurting. I know you posted this a month ago, but don't get down. Let yourself go through this, and try to make sure being friends is going to work. Sometimes you need some space before you can come back and give it a sincere "go". Because you're going to have to transform the romantic love you had for your wife into a totally different kind in order to keep yourself sane in this decision.

I wish you luck and peace, or at least a sense of direction. NERD SOLIDARITY, REPREZENT!