Coun5elor, 60

Pale Thin Duke or Pale Thin Nerd? I want to be a Byronic hero, one of those "mad, bad, and dangerous to know" types, but I am more of a nerd. That's been my identity for most of my life, no matter how hard I've tried to be Steerforth from David Copperfield, Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, or Edward Rochester from Jane Eyre. Whenever I try to mimic the cold and ruthless look of Pierce Brosnan, I end up looking more like Jerry Lewis. In fact, more than one of my friends have told me that I'm much more like Woody Allen than Al Pacino, so I should stop trying to re-enact the last scene from . . . And Justice for All when I'm actually in a real courtroom. Lately, people have started telling me that I'm like Abed, who's apparently a character on Community, a TV show I've never seen because I'm too busy playing Batman: Arkham City. The biggest compliment I ever received was when a woman told me that I reminded her of Val Kilmer in Tombstone.

My undergrad degrees were in physics, mathematics, and history. Along the way, I've accumulated enough english and biology credits to qualify for degrees in those subjects if I just add an additional credit or two, but at this point, getting an undergrad in english would just be hubris, don't you think? Then I went to law school so that I could wear a suit to work.

So, I'm not a sporto/jock/good ol' boy. I'm more the person you want to call when you need to know how to find the chainsaw in Doom, the difference between Captain Marvel and Captain Mar-Vell, or if you need to know that William Moulton Marston, the writer/creator of Wonder Woman under the pen name of Charles Moulton, was also the inventor of the lie detector.