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What's your favorite joke?

 
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ataivaskathryn




ataivaskathryn

Joined:
April 2, 2010
Posts: 49

PostPosted:     Post subject: What's your favorite joke?
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Mine's kind of lame but I love it:

An atom walks into the doctors office and says, "Doc, I think I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the doctor.
"Doc," replies the atom, "I'm positive!"

What's your favorite joke(s)?

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kakiavices




kakiavices

Joined:
July 25, 2010
Posts: 5

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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`Oh wow, I have so many favorites~! Heres a few

A piece of string walked into a bar and said "Gimme a beer!" but the bartender said "Get outta here! We don't serve your kind here!" So the string left, but he was thirsty, and he really wanted a beer, so he messed up his hair real badly and looped himself around until he had tied himself into a knot. When the string went back into the bar, the bartender looked at him suspiciously and said "Hey, aren't you that worthless piece of string I just threw outta here?" No, the string replied, "I'm a frayed knot!"

A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

Did you hear about the butcher who backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work

Did you hear about the guy who's entire left side got cut off? (usually people take this one so seriously and are like omg what happened to him is he ok?
It's ok, he's alright now (all right)

I love jokes that make people groan haha

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waylander2099




waylander2099

Joined:
July 27, 2010
Posts: 7

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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`Dyslexic man walks into a bra...

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oiledbman




oiledbman

Joined:
June 1, 2010
Posts: 63

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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So there's a Mom, a Sister and a Brother eating dinner:

The kid says: I hate my sister's guts!

The mom says: Shut up and eat your dinner.


....lol.



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ataivaskathryn




ataivaskathryn

Joined:
April 2, 2010
Posts: 49

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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oiledbman wrote:
So there's a Mom, a Sister and a Brother eating dinner:

The kid says: I hate my sister's guts!

The mom says: Shut up and eat your dinner.

....lol.



I don't get it...

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oiledbman




oiledbman

Joined:
June 1, 2010
Posts: 63

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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ataivaskathryn wrote:
oiledbman wrote:
So there's a Mom, a Sister and a Brother eating dinner:

The kid says: I hate my sister's guts!

The mom says: Shut up and eat your dinner.

....lol.



I don't get it...



It's a really bad joke - normally siblings 'hate each others guts' figuratively, but this time it's literal.

Because he's eating them.

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amill




amill

Joined:
August 8, 2010
Posts: 15

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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`2 muffins are sitting in an oven, first muffin says..."man its hot in here"

second muffin double takes and says "O snap! a talking muffin!"

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finder19




finder19

Joined:
September 1, 2010
Posts: 12

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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Two s are dining on a clown.
One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"



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oiledbman




oiledbman

Joined:
June 1, 2010
Posts: 63

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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finder19 wrote:
Two s are dining on a clown.
One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"





Pretty lol

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AYLISTHEWOLF
(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

Hi there!

I love nerdy jokes. Here are some of my favorites:

A wife asks her husband, who is a software engineer: "Could you please go shopping for me and buy 1 carton of milk? And if they have eggs, get 6!" A short time later in s shop he asks "Do you have eggs?" "Yes." "So give me 6 cartons of milk."


I like poems, too.

< > ! * ' ' #
^ " ` $ $ -
! * = @ $ _
% * < > ~ # 4
& [ ] . . /
| { , , SYSTEM HALTED

See, it is a poem written by computer.

Read it aloud and you get something like this:

Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash
Bang splat equal at dollar under-score
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH.

Surprised)

Or this one... Man in a hotel calls on a reception "Please, bring me two rums to room two two two, please." Receptionist slams the phone and say "tra la la la la la la la, you idiot!"

And a picture... Wink

Or: Schrödinger's wife once said, "What did you do to the cat? It looks half dead!"

Some of them I don't have saved in my comp, so I wrote them from memory, and since my English proficiency isn't very good, there could be some grammatical errors, but I hope you despite this fact will understand a plot and enjoy them.

Best regards,
Aylis.


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spaghettileah




spaghettileah

Joined:
January 1, 2012
Posts: 4

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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`What's brown and sticky?
A stick

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting cow."
"Interrupting cow wh-"
"MOOOO!"

Now this one I feel really dumb telling, but I love its stupidity.
Why did the bird perch itself on the telephone wire?
Because it needed to make a phone "caw."

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spradlin




spradlin

Joined:
April 6, 2012
Posts: 3

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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` Gold walks into a bar that he's barred from. The bartender spots him and says "AU, get out of here!"

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